AE
It was late at night on Christmas eve
AE
I was dreaming of the soft white snow
AE
I was awoken by a noise near the Christmas tree
AEDEA
What it was I did not know
AE
It was Santa Clause he was bringing me some gifts
AE
Unfortunately I did not know that
AE
So I quietly snuck up behind him
AEDEA
And I shot him five times in the back
AAA
It went Pow pow pow pow pow
AAA
He said "what the fuck ow ow ow"
AAAA
Then I shot him three more times in the head
AADE
Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead
AE
That's when I noticed his blood-soaked beard
AE
And his red suit filled with bullet holes
AE
I said "oh my god I killed santa clause
AEDEA
I'm not going to jail for this asshole"
AE
So I went to my shed and I got my saw
AE
And I started to choppipty chop chop
AE
I started with his arms then his legs then his head
AEDEA
And then the torso was a really long job
AA
And the blood went spurt spurt spurt
AAA
It was really hard work work work
AAA
It was hard cutting through his spine
AADE
I must have vomited sixteen times
AE
I burnt all the pieces in my fireplace
AE
The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose
AE
Eleven hours later there was nothing left
AEDEA
And that's when I heard my telephone
AE
It was Auntie Jean looking for Uncle Bob
AE
She said "He left the house dressed as Santa Clause
AE
But he didn't come home last night
AEDEA
Have you seen him god I hope he's alright"
This arrangement for the song is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the song. You may only use this for private study, scholarship, or research.