Verse
G                                         C                 G 
Oor little dug is six years auld an' he's smart as any damn kid 
                                   A                   D 
But when you mention the V.ET. he damn near flips his lid 
G                           C        G 
Words like S.H.O.T. shot or W.O.R.M. worm 
C                    G                 D    G 
These are words which make him S.Q.U.I.R.M. squirm 
 
G                   C          G 
His Q.U.AR.AN.T.I.N.E starts today 
                          A             D 
Coz he bit the V.ET. an' then he ran a-way 
          G                                            C                G 
He caused me and ma wife to huv a big fight, an' then, both o' them bit me 
    C               G                   D   G 
An' that's why I am gonna get a DI.V.O.R.CE 
 
G                                                    C          G 
She shouted "get him Rover," an' he jumped over, an' bit my L.EG 
                                    A                  D 
She sank her teeth in my BU.M. an' called me a' effin C 
     G                                         C        G 
Well I'm telling you, that was my cue, tae git O.FF - ski 
    C                      G                            D   G 
An' I'm going down tae the town tonight tae git a new BI.R.D 
 
G                          C          G 
Oh yes his Q.U.AR.AN.T.I.N.E starts today 
                                        A                D 
Both ma wife an' ma wee scabby dug will soon be hauled a-way 
G                                       C                  G 
That's why I spell oot aw' these words, so as ma dug can't hear 
   C                 G                 D      G 
Oh I must admit that dug is acting Q.U.EER. queer 
        C               G                 D      G 
Oh, yes I must admit ma dug is acting Q.U.EER. queer