G 
Now there's a solemn, old tradition 
      C 
For admission - or audition - to 
    Em 
Transition from a Come From Away 
 
COMPANY
D 
To be a Newfoundlander 
 
CLAUDE
         G 
The only other way at any rate 
C                        Em 
Is pass away and pray to fate and 
 
Wait to reincarnate 
 
COMPANY
D 
As a Newfoundlander 
G               Em 
Hey, hey - come on inside 
C                 D 
Nothing ventured, nothing tried 
 
ACTOR 5
G 
Only a couple people cried 
 
COMPANY
C           D 
You'll be a Newfoundlander 
G              Em 
Hey, hey - sit down right here 
C                  D 
You'll feel better in a year 
 
ACTOR 7
G 
Try to ignore your doubts and fears 
 
COMPANY
C               D 
And you'll be a Newfoundlander 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
G 
Now we needs a couple volunteers - who wants to become a Newfoundlander? 
 
BOB, spoken
            Em 
Right here! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
          C 
Good man! Who else? 
 
KEVIN T, spoken
       D       G               Em 
I have no idea why I put up my hand. And Kevin's like 
 
KEVIN J, spoken
C          D                G          Em 
Oh my God, are you serious? Oh my God, you are serious! 
 
KEVIN T, spoken
C         D              G                          Em 
Yes - I'm serious. Don't do it if you don't want to 
 
KEVIN J, spoken
 
I won't 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
C 
Where you from, buddy? 
 
KEVIN T, spoken
D 
Los Angeles 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
C 
LA! Who else? 
 
DIANE spoken
                  Em 
Us! We want to be Newfoundlanders! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
 
Alright. Where are you folks from? 
 
DIANE, spoken
 
Texas and - 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
C 
Texas! What part of Texas are you from, buddy? 
 
NICK, spoken
 
No, I'm from - 
 
DIANE, spoken
             Em                       D 
No, I'm from Texas. He's from England 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
                        G 
Wait. Now how does that work? 
 
NICK, spoken
              Em 
How does what work? 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
                    C                  D                        G 
Well, how does your marriage work with you being in England and her in Texas? 
 
DIANE & NICK, spoken
   Em 
No - we're not married 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
C               G                       Em        C                D 
Oh, I'm sorry - I just assumed you were married... Well, would you like to be? 
 
NICK, spoken
G 
Ah - 
 
DIANE, spoken
      Em         C  D 
Well, why not?! 
 
NICK, spoken
         G 
Diane had had two beers by then, so it was probably the alcohol talking 
 
DIANE, spoken
G 
I've never had more than one beer at a time before, so it was probably the alcohol talking 
 
NICK, spoken
N.C. 
I went and got her two more beers 
 
CLAUDE
D       G 
Now the first part is the easiest 
      C 
We'll soon get to the queasiest 
     Em 
I'll need you to repeat this mess 
 
COMPANY
     D 
When you become a Newfoundlander 
 
Claude
          G 
'Cause we speaks a different language, son 
   C 
We adds some esses and some rum 
       Em 
You'll have to try a good cod tongue 
 
COMPANY
     D 
When you become a Newfoundlander 
G               Em 
Hey, hey - just do your best 
C              D           G 
Nothing scary, nothing yet 
 
ACTOR 3
N.C. 
You'll have to change the way you're dressed 
 
COMPANY
    C           D 
And you'll be a Newfoundlander 
A               F#m 
Hey, hey - just sing along 
D                E              A 
Nothing ventured just prolonged 
 
CLAUDE
N.C. 
There's thirty verses in this song 
 
COMPANY
     D           E 
Then you'll be a Newfoundlander 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
G 
Ladies and gentlemen - this is screech! 
Back in World War II, an officer was stationed here and was offered some of this stuff 
All the locals were tossing it back with nar' a quiver, so he does too 
    D                           A 
And lets out an ear piercing... 
                                           D 
Everybody comes to see what's happening and says: 
 
COMPANY except SCREECHEES, spoken
                 E 
"What was that ungodly screech?!" 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
    C 
And now it's your turn. Are you ready? 
 
Good! All together now. One! 
 
COMPANY except SCREECHEES, spoken
C 
One! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
C 
Two! 
 
COMPANY except SCREECHEES, spoken
C 
Two! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
D 
Three! 
 
COMPANY except SCREECHEES, spoken
D 
Three! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
 
Down the hatch! 
 
KEVIN T spoken
G          Em            C 
Screech is basically bad Jamaican rum 
 
NICK, spoken
D 
Screech is horrific 
 
DIANE, spoken
G            Em       C 
Screech is delishush! 
 
BOB, spoken
                          C 
And then they brought the Cod 
 
KEVIN T, spoken
    C 
The Cod 
 
NICK, spoken
    C 
The Cod 
 
DIANE, spoken
    C 
The Cod 
 
CLAUDE
         F#m 
Now with every transformation 
        D          E 
Comes a tiny bit of risk 
       F#m 
You've got to walk the plank 
                D 
And there'll be blood 
               E 
Or there'll be bliss 
             F#m 
And it's the same to be a Newfoundlander 
D              E 
Every person's wish 
            F#m 
So don't be dumb 
 
Just take the plunge 
      D          E 
Go on - kiss the fish! 
 
NEWFOUNDLANDERS
(continued underneath) 
 
I'm an islander - I am an islander... 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
F#m                                                     E 
Ladies and gentlemen - this is a genuine freshly caught Newfoundland cod - 
                                                     D 
and if you want to become an honorary Newfoundlander 
 
you'll have to give her a smooch! One! 
 
E 
 
KEVIN J, spoken
 
If you kiss that I am never kissing you again! 
 
KEVIN T, spoken
F#m 
I'll risk it! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
 
Two! 
 
NICK, spoken
    E 
I'm not kissing a fish! 
 
DIANE, spoken
 
Come on, I will if you will! 
 
NICK, spoken
   D 
Oh my god. Fine 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
 
Three! 
 
E 
 
DIANE, spoken
 
I can't do it! 
 
NICK, spoken
 
What? I just did! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
           Gm 
Now you've got to kiss the cod - it's a vital part of the ceremony 
 
DIANE, spoken
  F 
I can't do it! 
 
CLAUDE, spoken
 
Alright - look. I'll make you a deal. 
           D# 
Either you kiss this fish - or else you kiss this Englishman that you're not married to 
 
D  F 
 
COMPANY
A#              Gm 
Hey, hey - come on tonight 
D#              F 
Take a risk and take a ride 
A#                 Gm 
Jump right in with both feet tied 
    D#          F 
And you'll be a Newfoundlander 
C          N.C. 
Hey, hey - come on once more 
F                 G 
Nothing ventured, nothing sore 
C                Am 
After it's over, out the door 
    F           G 
And you'll be a Newfoundlander 
 
CLAUDE
C 
After it's over you'll remember 
 
COMPANY
F             G               C 
That you're a Newfoundlander