Intro
 
Bbmaj7 Eb/Bb 
 
Verse 1
 
CHARLOTTE
Bbmaj7             Eb/Bb 
People might think I'm very dyke-ish 
Bbmaj7                    C/Bb      Ebm/Bb 
I make a big stink when I must, but goddamn 
Bb/F       Ebm/F       Bb/F      Ebm/F 
I'm just professional, never too nonchalant 
Eb/F                        A# 
If I'm a bitch, well, I am what I am! 
 
Verse 2
Bbmaj7              Eb/Bb 
Just call me 'Doc', don't call me 'lady' 
Bbmaj7                        C/Bb      Ebm/Bb 
I don't like to talk when I'm losing the game 
Eb                        Ebdim7   Gbdim7 
Bachelors arrive sick and frightened 
D7               F#dim      Gsus4  Gm 
They leave weeks later, unenlightened 
Eb       Ebm            F7sus4          Bb9 
We see a trend, but the trend has no name 
 
Chorus
 
Eb                  Db/Eb 
Something bad is happening 
Eb        Db/Eb  Eb 
Something very bad is happening 
Ab                Ab7 
Something stinks, something immoral 
Abm7 
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning 
Eb/Bb             Fm/Bb 
Rumors fly and tales abound 
Eb/Bb        Abm 
Stories echo underground! 
Eb/Bb        E/Bb 
Something bad is 
D/Eb  Eb   D/Eb  Eb   D/Eb  Eb     A/Eb Eb A/Eb 
Spreading, spreading, spreading 'round! 
 
Verse 3
 
CORDELIA
 
Eb             Bb 
Tell me how it tastes! 
Bb7             Eb 
Tell me if it's good! 
Ebdim7  Ebdim7/Bb Eb 
Tell me, dear, if you'd like seconds— 
 
CHARLOTTE, spoken
Abm 
Stop! 
 
CORDELIA
Bb           Bb/Eb    Eb 
Go ahead and wound my pride 
 
CHARLOTTE
     Abm 
Just stop 
 
CORDELIA
       Bb           Bb/Eb              Abadd9 
You're feeling very sick inside, well, okay 
 
So you've had a bad day 
                     Eb/Bb 
I don’t know what to say 
F           Ab           Ebadd9 Eb    Bb9 
Look what’s become of my doctor 
         Ebmaj7 
She's my doctor 
 
And I love her! 
          Ab/Eb 
She's got passion! 
 
She's intelligent and, Jesus Christ 
  Ebmaj7 
A doctor! 
 
Very wealthy 
      Ab/Eb 
And I love her! 
 
Doctor of internal medicine! 
    Ebmaj7 
I'm heartsick 
 
You’re unhappy 
 
CHARLOTTE
        Ab/Eb 
Life is crappy 
 
CORDELIA
 
And you always see the glass half full 
    Ebmaj7 
I'm nervous 
 
CHARLOTTE
 
This is f*cking ridiculous! 
 
CORDELIA
         Ab/Eb        Ab/Bb 
She's my doctor and I love her! 
 
She's got heart! 
 
Verse 4
 
CHARLOTTE
Bbmaj7              Bbsus4 
My spirits sag when I read the magazines 
Bbmaj7                C/Bb         Ebm/Bb 
Men dressed in drag, next to their moms 
Eb                      Ebdim7 Gdim7 
Fashion and passion and filler 
D7        F#dim          Gsus4 Gm 
But not a word about the k*ller 
Eb         Ebm            Bb9 
I like the ballgowns, but Jesus Christ! 
 
Chorus
 
CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA
Eb                    Db/Eb 
Something bad is happening! 
 
CHARLOTTE
Eb       Db/Eb   Eb 
Something very bad is happening! 
Ab                Ab7 
Something stinks, something immoral! 
Abm7 
Something so bad that words have lost their meaning! 
Eb/Bb                Fm/Bb 
Rumors fly and tales abound 
Eb/B         Abm 
Stories echo underground! 
Eb/Bb     E/Bb 
Something bad is 
 
CORDELIA (overlapping above)
Which she'd never say 
Little things don't get in her way 
What can it be? 
What can it be? 
 
CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA
D/Eb  Eb   D/Eb  Eb   D/Eb  Eb    Ab/Eb Eb Ab/Eb 
Spreading, spreading, spreading 'round! 
 
CHARLOTTE
E/B               F#m/B 
Look, a virus has been found! 
E/B          Am 
Stories echo underground! 
E/B       F/B 
Something bad is 
 
CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA
D#/E   E   D#/E   E   D#/E   E  Em7 Em6/B Em7 Em6/B Em(add9) 
Spreading, spreading, spreading 'round!