The Real Slim Shady by Eminem
Key: GG | Capo: 0fr |  Left-Handed 

    


     G                         D 
Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
      Em                          C
Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
G                         D
and started whoopin her ass worse than before
Em                       C 
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
        G                              D
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
Em                          C
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
G                 D
And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
Em                   C
Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
G                    D
Feminist women love Eminem
                Em
chigga chigga chigga
                   C
"Slim Shady, I'm sick of him look at him, 
G                    D
Walkin' around grabbin' his you-know-what
              Em                           C
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
G                                   D
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
     Em                         C
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
G                      D                                Em 
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
                               C
but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
G                          D   
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
       Em                          C
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
     G                            D  
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
     Em                              C 
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
     G                               D 
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
                      Em
By the time they hit fourth grade
                C
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
G                      D                            Em
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
               C
who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
G                   D  
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Em                                      C
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
           G                   D
[*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
Em                          C
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the Chorus and it goes
Chorus: Eminem] (x2)
        G                   D
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
         Em                  C
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
    G                          D
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
Em                C
please stand up, please stand up?
G                                   D
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
Em                          C
well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
      G                          D
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
              Em                            C
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
      G                        D
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Em                                 C
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
        G                D
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Em                        C
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
        G                    D
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
      Em                              C
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
G                           D
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
             Em                             C
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
         G                     D
I should download her audio on MP3
              Em                      C
and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
G                                D                        Em
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
                C
so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
G                            D                
And there's a million of us just like me
     Em                            C
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
     G                            D
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
     Em                           C
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Chorus
            G                       D
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
Em                                    C
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
   G                  D
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
             Em                          C
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
G                   D
I just get on the mic and spit it
         Em                              C
and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
             G                      D
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
                Em                          C
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
      G                    D
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
Em                               C
I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
G                      D
Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
     Em                                C
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
     G                        D
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
     Em                               C
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
         G                      D 
[*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
                Em
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
                   C
with his windows down and his system up
G                         D
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
    Em                           C
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
         G                     D
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
    Em                         C
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
Chorus (x4)
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up