C#m 
I take too long to answer telephones 
         F#m 
I take too long to type my name and record messages 
            A               Eb     
But my handwriting is excellent 
              G#       C#m 
In fact it's second to none, none 
 
 C#m 
I just got in from somewhere really good 
            F#m 
They offered me the part of Bono and a speaking role 
             A                 Eb 
With all the merchandice and sunglasses 
  G#          C#m 
I could ever need, need 
 
 C#m 
I drive round cities in a chariot 
      F#m 
I get preferential treatment at the Marriot 
           A                 Eb           G#         A 
But if the truth be told I'm naked under all these clothes 
 
            E                B     F# 
I tell you what it is on my mind, ohhh 
   A                       E                B     F# 
I only want to be in your record collection ohh, ohhh 
   A                       E                B     F# 
I only want to be in your record collection ohh, ohhh 
    A                    Eb           G#      
And I'll do anything it takes just to get there 
 
  
 
  C#m 
My brain is buzzing and the room is strange 
           F#m  
Like that scene in trading places at the stock exchange 
           A                    Eb 
I made a million over night in '87 
          G#           C#m 
Now I'm living in my parking space, parking space 
 
  C#m 
My teeth are bright and my hair is clean 
        F#m 
I wear Paco Rabanne like I was Charlie Sheen 
            A               Eb              G#            A 
But in the rain we all look wet and in the snow we all look cold 
  
            E                B     F# 
I tell you what it is on my mind, ohhh 
   A                       E                B     F# 
I only want to be in your record collection ohh, ohhh 
   A                       E                B     F# 
I only want to be in your record collection ohh, ohhh 
    A                    Eb          G#      
And I'll do anything it takes just to get there 
 
C#m 
 
  
 
    C#m   
I'm not as clever as I thought I was 
       F#m   
It got pointed out to me as I was tying the knot 
           A              Eb        G#      C#m 
And all I want to know is how I got so far down, down 
 
    C#m 
I'm not as lucky as I thought I was 
            F#m 
My luck ran out the other day as I was crossing the road 
                 A                   Eb                          
Who would have thought a truck like that  
            G#             A 
Could have caused so much harm? 
 
  
 
            E                B     F# 
I tell you what it is on my mind, ohhh 
   A                       E                B     F# 
I only want to be in your record collection ohh, ohhh 
   A                       E                B     F# 
I only want to be in your record collection ohh, ohhh 
    A                     Eb            G#     
And I'll do anything it takes just to get there