Intro
 Am 
Hmm 
 
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm 
    Am 
Now that's a fire! 
 
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm 
Am 
Listen, son 
 
Verse 1
                  Am 
Knock you in your head with my stick 
        Am 
With my stick 
                Am 
You gon' have a mark from my stick 
        Am 
From my stick 
 
Chorus
              G 
My stick, my stick 
F 
My stick is better than bacon 
Dm 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm 
          F 
You can't touch my stick 
 
I don't wanna! 
Dm 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-phfrr 
          F 
Yeah, you want my stick 
 
Verse 2
Am 
Thunk your coconut with my stick 
 
Look at my stick (Mm-hmm) 
Am 
You gon' feel the wrath of my stick 
 
Fear my stick! 
 
Chorus
             G 
My stick, my stick 
F 
My stick is better than bacon 
Dm 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm 
          F 
You can't touch my stick 
 
But it's just a stick! 
Dm 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm 
        F 
It's my perfect stick 
 
Post-Chorus
Am                    G 
My stick is my friend born from a log 
C                     Dm          C 
Everyone can see it's better than bacon 
 
Verse 3
Am 
Why'd you get so crotchety and mean? 
           Am 
Look at my stick 
                     Am 
Why'd you drink that creature's milk? It's green! 
       Am 
Got me sick! 
 
Chorus
                        G 
My stick (My stick), my stick (My stick) 
F 
My stick is better than bacon 
Dm 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm 
          F 
You can't use my stick 
 
But it's just a stick! 
Dm 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm 
          F 
Don't you love my stick? 
 
No, it's just a stick! 
Dm 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-bphfmm 
        F 
It's my perfect stick 
 
Post-chorus
   Am                G 
My stick and me take walks every day 
C                  Dm          C 
Past the hooligans down by the ocean 
Am                    G 
When they laugh at my stick, then they learn 
C                    Dm          C 
How my stick is much denser than bacon 
 
Bridge 1
F                                                    Am 
Bought a little piggy and I let the little piggy run amok (So cute) 
Dm                                                  C 
But when I would sleep, little piggy kept wakin' me up (Sold him) 
F                                                 Am 
People often fight about which birds are the best birds (Do they?) 
Dm                                            N.C. 
But everybody can agree that seagulls are the worst 
 
Breakdown
N.C.      Am 
I kiss my stick, it's my stick 
 
You can't pick up my stick 
                         F 
Keep your mitts off my stick 
       Am 
I disappear for years then reappear 
                                    F 
Right here to cheer about my cool stick 
                                     (Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm 
 
Verse 4
Am 
When I was a little bitty kid 
 
Little bitty kid 
              Am 
I had not yet found my mighty stick 
 
Then I did! Mm-hmmm 
 
Verse 5
Bm 
I could break your stick usin' just my brain 
    Am 
My stick?! 
 
I could make you wish you couldn't feel pain 
       Am 
Not my stick! Hmm-mm 
 
Chorus
                        A 
My stick (My stick), my stick (My stick) 
G                              Bm 
My stick is better than bacon! 
Em 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm 
          G 
You can't touch my stick 
 
I don't want your stick! 
Em 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-vmmp 
          G 
Yeah, you want my stick 
 
Man, it's just a stick! 
Em 
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-bphfmm 
        G 
It's my big boy stick 
 
Bridge 2
                                                          Bm 
Bought a bag of venom and I wish I really, really, really didn't (It turns out) 
Em                                       D 
Nobody has a good reason to own a bag of venom (It's poison) 
G                                                Bm 
Poke on my bruise sometimes 'cause I like how it hurts (It hurts good) 
Em                                        D 
Everybody can agree that seagulls are the worst (Worst, worst, worst, worst) 
 
Outro
           Bm 
(I kiss my stick, it's my stick 
 
You can't pick up my stick 
                         G 
Keep your mitts off my stick) 
G 
Everyone can see it's better than bacon 
 
My stick is my friend born from a log; Everyone can see it's better than bacon 
Bm 
(I kiss my stick, it's my stick you can't pick up my st